Tag: faith

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Out of control – and learning on the way

Following a really stirring recommendation from Dave Smith, senior pastor at our Church – KingsGate Community Church, I bought the book “Divine Mentor” by Wayne Cordeiro.

The book is a real honest and down-to-earth call to read the bible, and it opens our eyes to a rather novel way of viewing the experience. Wayne, who leads a network of churches in Hawaii, tells us how he uses the people within the bible as his mentors in everyday life and how the different people can speak into our lives on a regular basis.

This not only stirred me to start listening to the bible daily (using the excellent DailyAudioBible website with their daily podcasts for the bible in a year, and the book of proverbs in a month) but also kicked me in the rear about starting to listen to sermons and preaches on a daily basis – something I try to do when driving home from work but have fallen out of the habit in the past couple of months.

I decided to add to my usual library of speakers by subscribing to the Mars Hill podcast and learning from Rob Bell, and the other pastors there. What I wasn’t expecting was to have my character completely scrutinised and brought under the microscope as I listened to two really excellent preaches from Matthew 7 – one about Judging and the other about Ask, Seek and Knock.

The first preach completely cracked open an area that I have started to become painfully aware of in the last couple of months – and an area that I am having to work hard to rectify. The subject of trying to control others either by criticising, judging, manipulating or belittling and shaming. Rob Bell spoke very passionately and clearly around the whole subject, and as he did it became more and more clear that this behaviour comes around, more often than not, through insecurities and low self-esteem.

It’s going to be a challenge and I suspect it will be a long and painful journey – but it’s clear that I need to make changes in my life and in the way I relate to others around me.

To anyone who reads this and feels that I have treated them this way, I want to offer my deepest apologies and ask for forgiveness. If anyone wishes to talk then please feel free to contact me – you can find me on facebook or by emailing me.

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A Gentle Reminder

As you may remember – when I (finally) turned back to God, nearly 18 months ago now, the parable of the Prodigals Son was one that really spoke to me and I genuinely felt that moment of the Father welcoming the Prodigal back by running to meet him (me!) and giving him (me again) a great big hug. (Note: If you don’t remember, or don’t know the details, you can catch up on the story here: http://hartleyweb.co.uk/?p=99 )

Last night was a corporate prayer meeting at Kingsgate Community Church in Peterborough. Now these are great times and tend to happen 3-4 times a year and involve everyone descending on Kingsgate for 2 hours of real good Worship and Prayer – and usually with Communion as well. The session last night was packed – I’ve never seen so many people at a prayer meeting – and boy, was it a good time.

During one of the periods of prayer there was a real sense of Gods Love for us all, accompanied by a huge sense of peace, acceptance and belonging. During this I really felt God saying to me that He was still there for me – that He wasn’t just there when I came back, but that His Love for me was NOW and ALWAYS and that His arms of Love were always around me, holding me in a huge bear-hug.

It’s always good to remember that God is interested in us. He cares about our lives and isn’t just there as a doorman or as a ruler on a throne – but He’s there for us every day, every where and in every circumstance.

I’m fortunate to have grown up in a loving family and now have a loving family of my own – but even with all that love in my life, Gods Love still knocks me off my feet (quite literally as you may have noticed if you were there last night!)

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HELLO WORLD!!!

Yes, I am alive! And, yes I know it’s been a lifetime (or several if you are a Mayfly) since I last updated – in fact the last you all knew I was about to enjoy 2 weeks holiday before starting at a new job.

Well, we’ve had the two weeks and I’ve also had 6 weeks at the new job – and you know what? I am LOVING it!

Since there is no way I have the time, or space, to fill you in on the last 8 weeks here is a quick potted history of my rebirth as a new life of use to society once more 😉

Week 1 – nice break… pottering around including doing Cadburys World and Duxford – great time, although my waistline didn’t enjoy the calories!

Week 2 – Bit of a “long-long-weekend” at the folks enjoying places such as Crich Tramway Village and the totally awesome and magnificent Magna at Rotherham – if you haven’t been there you have GOT to try and get… it is totally superb and a great time.

Week 3 to 8 – THE NEW JOB! Wowsers… what a change. For the first time in goodness knows how long I actually go to work and feel like I can leave having achieved something. I am busy. I have jobs to do, a task to perform and targets to hit – and it feels sooooo totally GREAT!

My new job is with a small startup so the workload varies as we all take on whatever needs doing which means one day I can be setting up hardware, then next I could be documenting processes, the next I might be on the phones. Now yeah I know that there is always a honeymoon period  in any new job or situation but this job is really enjoyable and challenging and I actually feel like there is a use for me and that I have room to grow and learn new skills and methodologies.

To totally ice the cake, and put a cherry on the top, the site I work at is right in the middle of nowhere and we go out for daily walks into the glorious countryside and through the hills, woods and fields. I haven’t exercised for sooooo many years – and yet now I am walking at least 2 miles a day and starting to lose some of the “unfitness” that has taken hold in the past few years.

The big Glory of this whole situation – and is only last simply so that you can understand why – the full Glory belongs to God. He was the one who opened the door, met our needs and led me to a place of fulfillment. So many answered prayers this summer and such abundant blessing!

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New Beginnings :)

WOOHOOOOOO!!!!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

I’ve got the job!

At ten to three this afternoon the email came through offering me the job – to say we are over the moon is an understatement, although admittedly our immediate feeling is one of relief but the bouncing and hollering will come when it sinks in fully.

I start in a couple of weeks which is also nice as it gives me a couple weeks of holiday with the family before getting really stuck into things and it also gives me time to do some sorting out and “stuff”.

Anyway – that’ll do for now… I’m gonna sit and ponder and let it all sink in now.

Before I go though – a really HUGE THANKS to everyone who has been praying and helping us. We’ve really known Gods presence during this time and we’ve felt so loved by everyone it’s been amazing. God is Good – and he NEVER lets us down when we trust in Him and follow His will.

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Statistics and Hope

It finally happened.

At 4pm on Friday 10th July the event we had been waiting for, for nearly 8 months, finally took place – and even though we were expecting it, it was still a kick in the delicate parts.

The administrators were finally appointed and, in a piece of life reflecting reality-tv, we were split into two groups – 1 group staying (to basically help sell the rest of the business) and the other group being shown the door. Me? I was in the latter… with a couple of cold, hard, words we were out.

Funny thing is that I actually slept really well that night – my first feeling when I got told, after I had calmed my emotions down a bit anyway, was sheer exhaustion. The pressure, the waiting, the uncertainty – it was all over. Yes, there were a new set of challenges and uncertainties but I could move on and I knew where I stood.

It’s now been just over a week since that happened and I’ve done the usual – contact the mortgage company, sign on, look at all spending etc – and I am feeling really positive about it all. I had a couple of days when it started to hit home and I felt quite down but one of my cousins called me and we spent an hour chatting and speaking scripture and truth to each other and he prayed for me as we closed – and that really turned it all around for me.

We know that there are loads of people praying for us, and we know that we have support and love in huge measure – and for all of you who have been, and still are,  praying – we love you all! Your prayers mean the world to us and they are making a difference. God is blessing us with a real sense of peace and hope and we are not worrying.

We knew this day was coming, but we also knew that God has a plan and that He is in control – and for the first time in my life, I am really feeling able to “let go and let God”… there’s no sense of “gotta take it back because nothing is happening” – yes, I have a role to play but I also need to be trusting in Him and just be ready to walk through the doors that He opens for us.

I’ve had an interview this week – and it seemed to go really well, and it’s a job I definitely want as it looks a great opportunity! We’ll know more hopefully later this week but please be praying into that… I’ll let you know more when I know 🙂

God bless you all – He really does have an effect on our lives and His promises and Word are true!