One year on…

November 15th 2010 is a date that is undoubtedly one of the key dates of my life so far, and yet one year on it’s almost also one of the most forgettable.

After fighting the NHS for far too many years, even waiting 6 years for an MRI that should have happened at least 4 years earlier if not sooner than that, I underwent a Cervical Discectomy.

It was the culmination of years of bureaucracy and hassles, pain management techniques and drug regimes, understanding and disillusionment (being called a liar and told it’s all in your head is rather deflating!) – but it wasn’t something that we had rushed into. The operation carried risks – let’s be clear about this, I was having surgery on my spine in the cervical region… if something went wrong or a slight slip happened then I faced life as a quadriplegic! As it turned out later, if I hadn’t have fought or if we hadn’t taken the option of surgery then that would have been the end-game anyway as my spinal cord was being compressed by over 50%.

A cervical discectomy, in my case, involved some bone shaving and removing some discs to be replaced by a cage filled with bone, polymer and titanium. So much so that my neck doesn’t hinge at the bottom like most peoples but rather 2-3 inches higher up at the top of my neck.It also makes me my own version of the Bionic Man Smile

It was easy to look around the ward that day and dismiss what I was going through as “minor” – there were people in for brain surgery after all. That notion was eradicated by the ward staff though as I was informed my surgery was amongst the trickiest on the schedules and that I had one of Addenbrookes top Neurosurgeons conducting my surgery! Yes, all of you who said I needed a brain surgeon – I got one!

Expectations for the surgery were mixed. Some said I should see reasonable improvement straight away, others said it would take time and others said it was a complete waste of time (the movable MRI study I took part in removed any of the validity of that idea though!)

I said after surgery I was going to allow myself 18 months to decide for myself if it had been a success, a prevention of worse to come or even a failure. After 12 months I think I’m in a pretty good position now to state how I feel it has worked out.

There were several key factors for me with regards to the surgery:

  • Easing of Pain in my neck, arms, back and hands especially
  • Removing the regular, and painful, pins and needles from my arms and hands
  • Regaining strength in my arms and hands
  • Reduction in required medication
  • Greater fine motor-functions with more stability in my hands and less difficulty in doing simple tasks like buttoning up a shirt.

The other area that came up once the experimental MRI results were seen (which wasn’t until after my surgery) was relieving the pressure on my spine so that I could face a future without fear of losing the use of my arms and legs.

In some ways I was naïve in believing that this was achievable (my heart leading there!), and yet I was also realistic in believing that the best I could hope for was improvement rather than outright cure (my head at work) – I never expected a full recovery, as that damage has been there far too long, but I was looking for an improvement… just a bit of relief.

Well (after a final MRI, a 2 hour delay, and a really good discussion with a great consultant) it turns out that, as has been my own experience the past year, the op hasn’t actually “fixed” anything. I’m still in pain, on the full dose of painkillers, with pins and needles, and with weak motor skills that rule me out from ever defusing a nuclear bomb in the heart of Peterborough! (It’s OK Bruce Willis, your job is safe!)

The op has managed to relieve most of the pressure on my spinal cord, although there is one area where it is still compressed on one side, but the delays in getting the surgery have meant that the damage is most likely permanent.

70% of people see an improvement. 2% see a deterioration due to complications. 28% see no change. Guess I’m just in that 28%.

I firmly believe that God heals through the work of the surgeons, and through medication. I believe that He has given us the knowledge that enables medicine to be understood and used. There are times though when we must rely on a divine touch from The Great Healer Himself, and that’s where I am at – I am fully reliant upon Gods healing touch to restore my spinal cord to it’s natural condition, to rebuild the damaged nerves, and to heal the overall long term muscular and skeletal consequences of my situation.

Disappointed? Yes, I am. As I say, I wasn’t expectant of a full cure – but I did honestly believe I would see some improvement. Disheartened? Sometimes if I’m honest, but most of the time I simply fall back on my belief that there *is* healing waiting for me… In HIS time.

Now, do you want to see something cool? Here’s a quick snapshot, rather shaky I’m afraid, of my dynamic MRI. with a piccy above it so you can understand what you are seeing… enjoy!

MyNeck
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhykIwAaUco[/youtube]

Is the "Modern Church" too disconnected from the "Traditional Church"?

A.K.A. Throwing out the baby with the bathwater

This has been an issue that I’ve wrestled with quite a bit over the years, as some people are acutely aware, and I figured that it was about time I tried to formulate my thoughts into a more cohesive discussion. Why now? Well, we had an interesting time during communion at Trent vineyard the other month plus there was a great discussion at small group recently and a comment on Facebook seemed to generate some interest (even though Facebook deleted my replies rather annoyingly)

So what am I basically asking here? It’s a bit difficult to summarise succinctly but basically have a lot of “Modern Churches” lost touch with the good parts of the “Traditional Church’s” heritage?

For many, a “traditional church” conjures images of hymn sandwiches, “Stand Up, Sit Down, Head Bowed, Kneel Down, Stand Up, Head Bowed, Kneel Down, Sit Down” and so on accompanied by a raggedy choir, dodgy organ playing, dusty pews, complex liturgies that are so archaic you can’t understand them and a sermon so dry it makes the Kalahari desert look like a vast ocean.

Counter to this the “modern church” is relevant to today, full of life, full of people, exciting and a great place to be – especially with flash bands, lights, videos and more.

The “modern church” is a success that is growing, the “traditional church” is a dinosaur that is dying out.

Now I *love* the “modern church” and have no intention of returning to a dull and lifeless building anytime soon, but I do think that we have drawn a line between old and new and essentially said that never the two shall meet.

And that saddens me.

Liturgy can be an immensely powerful part of a service – if there is meaning and life and understanding behind it.
Hymns can convey wonderful biblical truths and be an amazing expression of praise and worship – if they aren’t mired in too much Olde English.
The Lords Prayer is *the* way to pray an means far more than just a droning repetition – we preach it on a Sunday, but don’t pray it on the Sunday.

A creed is now “a statement of belief” but only mentioned in welcome literature and membership courses – we never declare it loud and proud so that people know immediately where we stand.

Yes, all of the above can easily becoming dull and meaningless. They can all become “tradition” with no passion to them. But they can also find their way deep into memory so that years later the words pop into your mind and can be a comfort and a reminder.

In many ways I believe that the “modern church” is closer to the New Testament idea of Christians meeting than the “traditional church” is. But I also think that we’ve lost a big part of our heritage, and the legacy that some of the great Christians have left us.

Do I want a hymn sandwich? No. But I would like to sing “And Can it Be” or “How Great thou art” (yes, I know that has Olde English in it) every now and then.

Do I want to return to the ASB order of service? No. But I would like to hear the communion done that way every now and then.

Do I want to recite dull and droning words week after week? No. But I would love to hear a declaration of faith that can be triumphantly proclaimed.

Do I want to have 20 minutes of lifeless prayer punctuated by “Thanks be to God” every Sunday? No. But if we’re preaching the importance of “The Lords Prayer” then surely we need to be praying it and teaching it in our Sunday Schools (or whatever name you want to call your multimedia-kids-meeting)

There are some “Mega-Churches” (which are a separate talking point!) in the States that surprisingly do have elements of tradition – standing when reading the bible as a sign of respect for the Word, declaring a statement of belief in the bible before reading from it. I also know that there are “modern churches” here in the UK that try to incorporate elements from the “traditional church”, with mixed results. I’m not foolish enough to believe that there is a one-size-fits-all solution, and I also know that I’m where I am because I choose to be a member of this Church – and it’s a Church I love.

I love the Church. Forget the “modern” or “traditional” tags – we are The Body of Christ and multiple expressions are a great way of meeting individuals own personalities and preferences. I just struggle with the fact that there are kids growing up in the church who don’t know the Lords Prayer (and yes I know there are parental responsibilities as well), I can’t believe that there is room for people to belong to a Church without fully knowing the core beliefs, and I cannot accept that the only good song is less that 10 years old.

There has to be a balance that can take the best of what history has learnt, apply it to a biblical church and embrace the joys of modern worship, teaching, environments, technology and more.

As a final thought, and I don’t know the answer to this, but would the original Christians have had any form of liturgy within their gatherings – I can easily believe that the Jewish converts would as they would surely have embraced the Old Testament history and their own Jewish roots and applied that to their Christian worship.

Please, feel free to comment below – I’d love to know your thoughts and views!

Music Review: ‘Warr Acres’ by Warr Acres

Title: Warr Acres
Artist: Warr Acres
Genre: Worship/Pop/Rock

iTunes / YouTube / Spotify

Tracklisting:

  1. Undignified
  2. Sound The Alarm
  3. You Are Joy
  4. Maker of Miracles
  5. Hymn of Remembrance
  6. Shout Your Love
  7. Heaven Bound
  8. Saviour, Crucified
  9. Hold To This Truth
  10. Shadow of The Steeple
  11. Our God Lives

Review: Anyone who knows me, knows how much I love music – and especially how much I love Worship. From the hymns of old that stir the passions and build a solid bedrock, to the intimacy of a Vineyard album, to the all out big style of Hillsongs – and about everything in between (well, with one or two notable exceptions)

I got sent this album to review for the Cross Rhythms website, along with three others, and listened to it pretty soon after opening the jiffy bag.

Just so you’re aware, I hadn’t heard of this band and had done no research at the point of my first hearing it so I didn’t know what to expect and wasn’t anticipating the sounds that burst out, nor the depth of the lyrics that accompanied them.

It didn’t take long to dig out a wealth of information on the group, they’ve got quite a presence in the States and are actually the worship band formerly known as VMusic from Victory Church in Warr Acres, Oklahoma (hence the name). With the addition of some new members, a tweak to a more pop/rock sound, and a more “commercial” image they have recreated themselves as this eclectic mix of tunes with worship still at the core.

When I say”commercial”, that isn’t a negative remark – please don’t get me wrong there! But they’ve shifted from the stage based worship leading image that you see in the VMusic videos on YouTube to the very dramatic and quirky-mainstream style that is visible on their video for Undignified (see the HD link at the top of this article, or the lower res video at the bottom)

So we have here a band that has re-imagined itself, kept it’s core heart of worship oriented music and launched this collection of songs – some that were previously recorded with VMusic and others that are brand new. What is the end result of this?

One word sums it up – WOW!

Seriously, this is a brilliant album that mixes up inward, upward and outwardly focussed lyrics to both build faith, praise our Creator and challenge us to get off our blessed assurances and look beyond the four walls of our churches.

“Undignified” is a rousing opener that leaves you in no doubt as to the passion of the band. The vocals are provided by Dove Award nominee Kristy Starling and the lyrics are a bold declaration of praise and worship. If this song doesn’t get your toes tapping and your head bouncing then you’ve probably not got the volume turned up as there is no way this song can be enjoyed as a passive listener.

“Maker of Miracles” is a wonderful ballad style song but with an uplifting chorus. The words pick up on the life and words of Christ, as well as His promises, bringing a real sense of majesty, awe and hope as the duet of Kristy along with Lael Louthan rings out and surrounds you with a sense of the majesty of the King.

With its catchy and somewhat retro beat, “Heaven Bound” is a great pop track – but don’t make the mistake of dismissing it as a jaunty bubblegum tune as the songwriting passions cut through once again full of scriptural roots, uplifting visions of eternity and the ever-present thick vein of worship that runs through this whole collection of songs.

I could go on and on about the tracks, they are all worthy of mention, but the one I really do need to mention is “Shadow of the steeple”. This is a call to action that leaves you in no doubt of what our call is – to get out and be Jesus to the people around us, on the streets, in our neighbourhoods and in the communities that we live in. Those comfy chairs in our churches suddenly feel rather itchy, those pews are definitely growing thorns as you take in the words of this brilliant song.

I can’t wait to hear more from these folks – I am genuinely excited by what I hear and I cannot stop listening to these songs. Go listen to the album on YouTube, Spotify or Last.Fm and then buy it. You won’t regret it and you may find yourselves being challenged, energised, raised up and drawn closer to God as the passionate heart of the music pumps out your earbuds/speakers/tin-cans.

Score: 5/5

Warr Acres – Undignified

Be careful – that fork in the road might give you a puncture!

*groan*

OK – I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist it and to be honest, as I try to be here, that is probably about as funny as this post is going to get. Yup, this is a serious post.

It’s been well documented here that there’s a lot going on, and that we feel God has called us to move on. I’ve only mentioned it once or twice… maybe thrice at a push 🙂 – The thing is, there is a lot more to obedience than simply saying (and believing) that we are ready.

I’ve now been in my new job for two whole weeks, and it’s definitely an interesting place to work. I think I’ve grown beyond the “honeymoon period” with jobs in some ways, so try to go in with my eyes open. Nowhere is perfect, but I can honestly say that I think I’m going to be happy here. There’s progression. There’s training. There’s resources. And it’s all for a good purpose. Yes, there are politics and there will be frictions but show me any job where that isn’t the case. Even a one-man operation will have frictions and politics.

As I previously blogged, we feel that the starters pistol has now been fired and that this is the moment that we’ve been waiting for for three years and more. Except we’ve kinda sat there almost ignoring the elephant in the room.

Until Friday the other week. The Mrs was on Taxi duties so I was home alone (well the boys were in the house but in bed) and looking forward to an evening of catching up on TV and relaxing after my first week in the office. All was going swimmingly and then something unexpected, but always welcome, happened.

God turned up.

Continue reading “Be careful – that fork in the road might give you a puncture!”

A New Dawn

A New Dawn

A New Dawn

October the Third Two Thousand and Eleven.

Even spelling it out it doesn’t look much on a page. It’s quite remarkable how the small things can be the biggest. Remarkable yet also logical, scientific and biblical. Scientific as know we’re all made of cells and more, and if you’ve not seen the Laminin clip then head over to my post here. Biblical – remember “faith as small as a mustard seed”?. Logical – well, we’ve all experience it haven’t we? That one moment that changes the course of our lives, or even those lots of moments that form the road map for our lives.

03/10/11 is one of those moments. A breaking dawn on a new day.

In some ways it’s the beginning of the culmination of a 3 year faith journey. Not over yet, and quite how long this new day will be is yet to be seen, but it’s certainly the beginning of what we’ve been praying about and looking for.

On the 3rd October I start my new job. It’s exciting and scary, nerve-wracking and at the same time peaceful, happy and sad. I guess that’s what a lot of new chapters are like, what new days are about really – the ending of one day, the start of another.

I’m genuinely excited about what I’m heading into – there’s potential in this job, and it has the appearance of being a career instead of merely another rung on the ladder. There’s challenges, progression, a chance to play a part in something bigger and a feeling that the only limitation to what lies ahead would be me.

The job isn’t the whole story though just as that first bit of light, following that dark of night, isn’t the full day but merely heralding the commencement. This new role is the first step along a new road for us.

Continue reading “A New Dawn”