Tag: me

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Passion


Passion

Boy, there’s a word to conjure a mixture of images in a mind. It may make you think of a sporting event with roaring supporters, or maybe screaming fans at a concert. For the more intellectually-inclined it might bring to mind two sides of a heated debate. It could even leave you with a knowing smile and a hint of a blush.

It’s a word that has some much resonance at this time of year for a completely different reason. During Holy Week it awakens thoughts of a triumphant entry into Jerusalem on a donkey, through to the intimacy and ultimate betrayal of a meal with close friends. Images of humiliation and mocking, followed by an excruciating death and then the ultimate joy of a resurrection.

All for passion.

All because there’s a God who is so passionately in love with His people that He sacrificed His Son to reach out to us and to clear the debt of our imperfect lives. All because He Loves ME… and YOU. Not “the human race” as a faceless mass of people, but each of us by name.

It’s sobering, heartwrenching, heartwarming, mindblowing, humbling and so much more. The infinite creator of the universe, so passionate about ME that He would go through all that… for ME.

I can’t tell you how much this impacts me to the core of my being. Even when I was away from God, there was always something about Easter that tugged at me (I always put it down to the raw emotions I was used to feeling rather than anything else – boy was I deluded)

Spend 5 minutes this week, just 5 minutes, and think about what happened 2000 years ago and why. Then ask yourself “what should it mean to me?”

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The human cocoon

2012 is quite a year in so many historic ways. We’re hosting the Olympics which, no matter your political inclinations and views, is a huge honour and responsibility. HRH Queen Elizabeth II celebrates 60 years as our monarch, becoming only the second in British history to have achieved this milestone. My baby brother is getting married at long last and my parents are celebrating 40 years of marriage.

But it’s not just the events that are happening this year that make it historic for me. 2012 also marks the 20th anniversary of some huge milestones in my personal life:

  • It was the year we left Germany, after a 5 year stint (and a prior 3 1/2 year posting there.
  • It was the year I “re-invented” myself
  • It was the year God started to give me a heart for a small, historical, market town and the people who live there
  • It was the year I first met the girl I was going to end up marrying
  • and so much more…

Although the move from Germany was the major catalyst for what lay ahead, the real key “first-domino” that put my feet on a path I would tread was the whole business of re-inventing myself.

Those who knew me before and after the change can testify to the change in me, I became a completely different person in so many ways. I made a determined decision to use the change of scenery to rewrite my own view of myself, and therefore the way that everyone else would know me.

The analogy that best fits, and was often used, is that of the caterpillar breaking out of the cocoon and becoming the butterfly it was destined to become. That analogy is limited in some ways though as, whilst it does encapsulate what happened, it almost implies a one-off event rather than a step (albeit a hugely significant one) in the journey that is my life.

It’s almost like we, as humans, will periodically wrap ourselves in a cocoon to emerge later as the newest version of ourselves. Still who we were but changed in a significant way.

Sometimes that change is a negative time, as if we wrap ourselves up and come out with the muted tones of a moth rather than the brightness and splendour of a glorious butterfly. Most times though it’s a time when we are re-formed into something brighter and better.

The cocoon period might be a prolonged process as circumstances take hold, as God works within us, as we come to terms with the realisation of impending change. It might be a shorter process, maybe even overnight. But when we emerge, we’re different and those around us notice.

The thing about the cocoon moments is that they don’t always tie in with major life events such as marriage, children arriving, job changes, family deaths etc. They can catch us out, and can simply be as a result of us being in an environment where we’ve been fed, grown, matured and changed. The can also occur when we’ve been cut down, weakened, battered, pushed beyond our limits and shaken beyond what we feel capable of handling.

As I look at the last 20 years my cocoon moments have included a mix of good and bad: re-inventing myself, losing faith, prodigals return to name but three. Looking back, I am completely different to the Me Version 2.0 that I launched in 1992, there was a dodgy release 3.0 but version 4.0 is looking far more promising and I really wouldn’t be surprised to discover a version 5.0 coming up in the next year or few.

If you think back upon your own life what would your “cocoon moments” be? Are your butterfly wings bright and colourful right now or are you in a moth-phase. Wherever you are, whatever stage you’re in, I pray that you will experience a new cocoon full of colour, splendour, joy and wonder.

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What a load of waffle

Wow. I can sure spout enough waffle can’t I. Just gone back through the archives here and discovered that this incarnation of the blog is now just over 5 years old! Tempus Fugit.

It’s the good thing about keeping a blog, this ability to go back and read what was running through my mind and what was grabbing my attention at any point. Of course, that relies on me keeping the blog fresh and up to date – there are some notable instances in the past 5 years where that hasn’t happened but I am getting better.

So what prompted the time travel excursion through the brain dumps of my mind? Well, I was going to build a page that linked all the articles I’ve done regarding our house move saga. It’s been a huge part of our life, and purpose, for so many years now and the journey leading up to where we are today has been fascinating (well, from my perspective anyway) in the way the God has worked our roots loose ready for transplanting in a new location.

What I wasn’t fully prepared for was the sheer number of posts, the length of them (I told you I can waffle!), and the time period they covered. It’s been a LONG road – and it’s not yet done!

I’ve gained quite a few new readers since we began on this journey, so not everyone has been with us since the start and don’t know the full story. With that in mind I’m going to do a recap post I think – one that summarises the story so far and gives a bit more insight into the overall saga.

The other thing that’s become rather obvious, as I’ve trawled through the library of my life, is that there are subjects I don’t write about enough whilst there are others that deserve a higher prominence here. So over the coming weeks I’m going to do a bit of tweaking in regards to the categories, tags and overall structure of the blog(as time and house move allows – although this will probably be my therapy away from it all.) There’s also a chance that this will lead to a few tweaks in the layout and in the way that I highlight key posts.

The other thing I’d love to do is make it easier for folks to comment, without leaving myself open to spam. I’d really love to get peoples responses to posts and to get a feel for how people are connecting with us. Not sure how I’m going to manage that one…

Anyway, to sum up: There’s going to be a “journey so far” post coming very soon, I’m going to be fiddling with things so there may well be some changes coming, and I’d really love to hear your thoughts and responses to the articles I post here!

Keep’em peeled folks 🙂

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And the next destination on life’s journey is….

To be revealed as you read on 😀

Regular readers of this little corner of the blogosphere will know that we feel God has been preparing us to move for a few years now. I heard a great analogy the other day that God sometimes lets us know his intentions early enough that our roots, like those of a tree being moved, are gently shaken loose and worked free to make the replanting elsewhere an easier and less harmful activity.

The preparation time came to a head late last year and we felt that God had fired the starters’ pistol triggering much prayer, soul-searching and deep-thinking.

As we looked on the invaluable Google Maps/Earth, we very much felt drawn towards the Rugby and Daventry area. It was almost as if the map dimmed slightly and that area was lit. As we looked around at several areas surrounding my workplace, there were no churches that seemed to draw us in and nowhere else seemed to sit right.

After the dust of the chaotic Christmas period had settled, we quickly decided to spend a couple of weekends exploring both Daventry and Rugby. Looking at the areas, the facilities, the Churches and getting a feel for where we thought God was calling us to. It was also a chance for the kids to get a chance to have a look and get an idea themselves as it’s important to us that they are included in the process – God isn’t just calling me and Mrs H, He’s calling us all as a family and it is imperative that the kids all get their say in where they feel comfortable, excited, at home.

This weekend that has just gone saw the second of our “explorations” completed, covering Daventry after visiting Rugby the week before.

It’s amazing how God works. It really is. He can change hardened hearts, open blinded eyes and bring about a unity of purpose. Praying that 5 people ( of ages 7,10,14 and 30+) would find themselves with a desire to move to the same place and the same church, and that we’d all feel a sense of excitement about it, sounds a bit like herding cats… but our Father is the Great Shepherd and even cats cannot escape when He wants them herding into one place!

And so we find ourselves, after the 2 weekends, with a unified view of where we want to be and a genuine feeling of anticipation and adventure.

Do you think I’ve procrastinated enough? Are those cries of “Just get on with it and tell us where” that I can hear from you dear reader? I know, I’m really dreadful at making important announcements – I love to waffle and then suddenly drop in to the conversation that we’ll be moving to Rugby at some point in the near future. It’s so easy for me to talk and talk and casually drop it in so that the casual reader (or listener) misses the big announcement.

In case you missed it there – yes I did say that we will be moving to RUGBY.

There’s a lot to happen before we actually move there but we all had the same feeling that Rugby is right. The Church there is welcoming, spirit-filled and comes across as having a great heart for God, for His plans and for His vision. There’s loads there for the kids as they grow up and there’s so much regeneration and rebuilding work happening around the town that we really had the sense of Potential in the whole adventure. Potential in Rugby, potential in the Church, potential for us as a family.

It’s a strange feeling or, to be more accurate, spectrum of feelings. There’s excitement at the thought of what we’re heading into, relief that we now know where we’re going, nerves about the road ahead, and sorrow at what we’re leaving behind. The fact is that this has been building up now for the last few years, and we’re finally at the point of starting to fulfil that sense of purpose.

Now, where’s that mile long to-do list gone?!?

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Why is it a daily walk with God can require so much effort?

When we were discussing the subject of spending time with God, on a daily basis, at our house group the comment/question was raised that “if I’ve not spoken to family/close friends I really want to catch up and keep in touch with them – why is it that we can struggle with feeling the same way about our relationship with God?”

There was a fair bit of discussion and then I had a sudden flash of inspiration – believe me, it sometimes happens!

Most of us are fortunate to have grown up with a healthy relationship with family and/or close friends. That’s a daily thing that has been a part of our lives since the day we were born. If, like me, you don’t start out life in a Christian household (we started going to church when I was about 9 and for a time it was a “Sunday thing” for me) then you won’t have grown up with that daily relationship with your Heavenly Father.

As a result of this, it requires work to have that daily connection with God. It requires effort. It requires time. All of which we can sometimes be reluctant to commit to in the midst of our hectic lives. We’ve always got something else to distract us and pull our attention: the kids, the housework, the job, the family, the TV, the Xbox. You get the idea.

When I got married, and indeed when I was dating the lovely Mrs H, it quickly became routine to be in daily contact with my better half. If I’m ever away then there’s at least 1 or more phone calls. When I get up in a morning to come to work and my wife is in bed, I always text her to say good morning. Because of my love for her, and the value I place on our relationship, I crave that daily contact and I honestly cannot think of a single day in nearly 12 years of marriage when there hasn’t been some form of communication and contact between us. I honestly think there hasn’t been a single day when we haven’t spoken – genuinely and truthfully I have spoken to my wife every day.

I think it’s sometimes difficult for us to apply that same raw emotion and depth of feeling to God. Sometimes it’s easier to love something/someone tangible and physical. Love for God can somehow feel higher, nobler and above the baser feelings we have for family. It’s so simple to try and spiritualise and not pursue a more familiar type of relationship with God.

The thing is – He is our Father. He is Abba which means DADDY. It doesn’t mean Father, a word which can sometimes sound aloof, it means daddy. It’s a word that conjures memories of being a young boy and playing with my dad. Play wrestling, time spent playing chess and backgammon, listening to War of the Worlds on original vinyl. It’s a word that brings emotions of joy at visiting my daddy at work, and the smile on his face when he sees me. It’s a word that speaks of a stable, protective and strong presence – but also of gentleness, tenderness and love.

I know that for people who haven’t known that kind of relationship with their earthly father, this can seem beyond comprehension. I know for some people daddy was a figure of fear, whilst for others he was completely absent and an unknown entity. That’s something I’m going to pray about and pick up later on in a future post – it’s not something I want to rush blindly into as I know it’s a big, no huge, issue.

The image of the Father in the Prodigals Return is technically an image of Christ rather than God – let’s not go into the technicalities though as it is still a hugely important image. When the prodigal returned, the father saw him coming and RAN. There are cultural reasons for that, but also cultural implications. A father did NOT run. It was undignified, below them, a child’s activity not a mans. But that image of the father running speaks of compassion, love, protection and more – it’s how God, our Daddy, sees us.

If we manage to grasp even the smallest part of that, then it has the potential to completely shake up our relationship with God. To personalise it. To bring a new level of intimacy and connection. Taking hold of that should give us a desire and eagerness to be with our Heavenly Daddy.

It may be a struggle at first – new relationships require work, and building a deeper relationship with anybody takes time and effort. As we start to build that connection, as we make that effort to be with our Daddy, it will get easier and it will become something that we want and desire – not something that is a chore.

The end result is a relationship full of joy beyond imagining, intimacy beyond earthly comprehension, life to its fullest extreme.