And the next destination on life’s journey is….

To be revealed as you read on šŸ˜€

Regular readers of this little corner of the blogosphere will know that we feel God has been preparing us to move for a few years now. I heard a great analogy the other day that God sometimes lets us know his intentions early enough that our roots, like those of a tree being moved, are gently shaken loose and worked free to make the replanting elsewhere an easier and less harmful activity.

The preparation time came to a head late last year and we felt that God had fired the starters’ pistol triggering much prayer, soul-searching and deep-thinking.

As we looked on the invaluable Google Maps/Earth, we very much felt drawn towards the Rugby and Daventry area. It was almost as if the map dimmed slightly and that area was lit. As we looked around at several areas surrounding my workplace, there were no churches that seemed to draw us in and nowhere else seemed to sit right.

After the dust of the chaotic Christmas period had settled, we quickly decided to spend a couple of weekends exploring both Daventry and Rugby. Looking at the areas, the facilities, the Churches and getting a feel for where we thought God was calling us to. It was also a chance for the kids to get a chance to have a look and get an idea themselves as it’s important to us that they are included in the process – God isn’t just calling me and Mrs H, He’s calling us all as a family and it is imperative that the kids all get their say in where they feel comfortable, excited, at home.

This weekend that has just gone saw the second of our “explorations” completed, covering Daventry after visiting Rugby the week before.

It’s amazing how God works. It really is. He can change hardened hearts, open blinded eyes and bring about a unity of purpose. Praying that 5 people ( of ages 7,10,14 and 30+) would find themselves with a desire to move to the same place and the same church, and that we’d all feel a sense of excitement about it, sounds a bit like herding cats… but our Father is the Great Shepherd and even cats cannot escape when He wants them herding into one place!

And so we find ourselves, after the 2 weekends, with a unified view of where we want to be and a genuine feeling of anticipation and adventure.

Do you think I’ve procrastinated enough? Are those cries of “Just get on with it and tell us where” that I can hear from you dear reader? I know, I’m really dreadful at making important announcements – I love to waffle and then suddenly drop in to the conversation that we’ll be moving to Rugby at some point in the near future. It’s so easy for me to talk and talk and casually drop it in so that the casual reader (or listener) misses the big announcement.

In case you missed it there – yes I did say that we will be moving to RUGBY.

There’s a lot to happen before we actually move there but we all had the same feeling that Rugby is right. The Church there is welcoming, spirit-filled and comes across as having a great heart for God, for His plans and for His vision. There’s loads there for the kids as they grow up and there’s so much regeneration and rebuilding work happening around the town that we really had the sense of Potential in the whole adventure. Potential in Rugby, potential in the Church, potential for us as a family.

It’s a strange feeling or, to be more accurate, spectrum of feelings. There’s excitement at the thought of what we’re heading into, relief that we now know where we’re going, nerves about the road ahead, and sorrow at what we’re leaving behind. The fact is that this has been building up now for the last few years, and we’re finally at the point of starting to fulfil that sense of purpose.

Now, where’s that mile long to-do list gone?!?

Why is it a daily walk with God can require so much effort?

When we were discussing the subject of spending time with God, on a daily basis, at our house group the comment/question was raised that “if I’ve not spoken to family/close friends I really want to catch up and keep in touch with them – why is it that we can struggle with feeling the same way about our relationship with God?”

There was a fair bit of discussion and then I had a sudden flash of inspiration – believe me, it sometimes happens!

Most of us are fortunate to have grown up with a healthy relationship with family and/or close friends. That’s a daily thing that has been a part of our lives since the day we were born. If, like me, you don’t start out life in a Christian household (we started going to church when I was about 9 and for a time it was a “Sunday thing” for me) then you won’t have grown up with that daily relationship with your Heavenly Father.

As a result of this, it requires work to have that daily connection with God. It requires effort. It requires time. All of which we can sometimes be reluctant to commit to in the midst of our hectic lives. We’ve always got something else to distract us and pull our attention: the kids, the housework, the job, the family, the TV, the Xbox. You get the idea.

When I got married, and indeed when I was dating the lovely Mrs H, it quickly became routine to be in daily contact with my better half. If I’m ever away then there’s at least 1 or more phone calls. When I get up in a morning to come to work and my wife is in bed, I always text her to say good morning. Because of my love for her, and the value I place on our relationship, I crave that daily contact and I honestly cannot think of a single day in nearly 12 years of marriage when there hasn’t been some form of communication and contact between us. I honestly think there hasn’t been a single day when we haven’t spoken – genuinely and truthfully I have spoken to my wife every day.

I think it’s sometimes difficult for us to apply that same raw emotion and depth of feeling to God. Sometimes it’s easier to love something/someone tangible and physical. Love for God can somehow feel higher, nobler and above the baser feelings we have for family. It’s so simple to try and spiritualise and not pursue a more familiar type of relationship with God.

The thing is – He is our Father. He is Abba which means DADDY. It doesn’t mean Father, a word which can sometimes sound aloof, it means daddy. It’s a word that conjures memories of being a young boy and playing with my dad. Play wrestling, time spent playing chess and backgammon, listening to War of the Worlds on original vinyl. It’s a word that brings emotions of joy at visiting my daddy at work, and the smile on his face when he sees me. It’s a word that speaks of a stable, protective and strong presence – but also of gentleness, tenderness and love.

I know that for people who haven’t known that kind of relationship with their earthly father, this can seem beyond comprehension. I know for some people daddy was a figure of fear, whilst for others he was completely absent and an unknown entity. That’s something I’m going to pray about and pick up later on in a future post – it’s not something I want to rush blindly into as I know it’s a big, no huge, issue.

The image of the Father in the Prodigals Return is technically an image of Christ rather than God – let’s not go into the technicalities though as it is still a hugely important image. When the prodigal returned, the father saw him coming and RAN. There are cultural reasons for that, but also cultural implications. A father did NOT run. It was undignified, below them, a child’s activity not a mans. But that image of the father running speaks of compassion, love, protection and more – it’s how God, our Daddy, sees us.

If we manage to grasp even the smallest part of that, then it has the potential to completely shake up our relationship with God. To personalise it. To bring a new level of intimacy and connection. Taking hold of that should give us a desire and eagerness to be with our Heavenly Daddy.

It may be a struggle at first – new relationships require work, and building a deeper relationship with anybody takes time and effort. As we start to build that connection, as we make that effort to be with our Daddy, it will get easier and it will become something that we want and desire – not something that is a chore.

The end result is a relationship full of joy beyond imagining, intimacy beyond earthly comprehension, life to its fullest extreme.

Glancing Back and Looking Ahead

Well, we’re now pretty much both feet into 2012 with me hardly ever getting the year wrong on forms etc. This means that it’s time to take a look back on 2011 and a look forward into what my hopes, dreams, thoughts and plans are at the beginning of this new year.

Before I do that though – allow me to wish all my readers a belated Happy New Year! I hope you all had a great time over Christmas and that this year will be a great time for you all.

I’m going to do things a bit different this time around as I’m not going to split the two years into individual posts – mainly because life is just so busy right now and I seem to have little time for breathing let alone anything else.

Regular readers will know that last year was quite the rollercoaster ride – with many highs (holiday, Big Church Day Out and more) and various lows (the biggest being the shock loss of a job) so summarising the year, and the lessons learnt, is a bit of fun.

Continue reading “Glancing Back and Looking Ahead”

Faith requires Action which results in Faith. And repeat.

It’s been buzzing around my head for a couple of weeks now and I listened to a talk by Pastor Steven Furtick (Elevation Church, Charlotte, USA) which re-inforced the point and has had me looping through an endless cycle that I really have got to apply immediately to stand any chance of stepping in to what God has planned for us.

It’s simple really, and pretty obvious, but we so often get it wrong.

Faith requires Action which then results in Faith.

Confused? It’s really not complex. For us to HAVE faith, we’ve got to ACT in faith which will then lead to us GROWING in faith and moving forward. Think about it. When a person takes those first steps of faith, there is an act involved – even if it’s simply raising a hand or saying a little prayer. There is an Action, which then leads to an increase of Faith… which then leads to more Actions, leading to more Faith.

We’re so busy over the next few months that moving house seems a crazy goal, and yet I firmly believe it’s what God is calling us to. It aint going to happen though, unless we get off our backsides and do things that will enable us to take the step of faith.

God can move mountains, but He may well ask for people to get behind the wheels of a JCB to achieve it. He doesn’t NEED us in order for His goals to be achieved, but how else will we grow and develop if not through the lessons we learn executing Gods pland for us?

It’s like the old joke of the man stranded on the roof of his house in a flood. A woman in a boat comes along and offers him a ride, the man replies “God will rescue me, I’m waiting on Him”. A helicopter flies by and offers to rescue him, they are given the same reply. Eventually the man drowns and when he gets to heaven he asks God “Why didn’t you save me” – to which God replies “Who do you think sent the Boat and the Helicopter?”

It’s an exciting, frightening, stressful, wonderful time at the moment and I genuinely feel Gods presence over our future – but it isn’t going to happen unless I get off my backside and get on with bringing about Gods plans.

How about you? I’m sure I’m not the only one who sometimes needs a nudge and a kick into action instead of sitting on the roof of my house.

P.S. As a friend commented – remember FAF. If you don’t put it into action you’re just faffing around šŸ™‚

One year on…

November 15th 2010 is a date that is undoubtedly one of the key dates of my life so far, and yet one year on it’s almost also one of the most forgettable.

After fighting the NHS for far too many years, even waiting 6 years for an MRI that should have happened at least 4 years earlier if not sooner than that, I underwent a Cervical Discectomy.

It was the culmination of years of bureaucracy and hassles, pain management techniques and drug regimes, understanding and disillusionment (being called a liar and told it’s all in your head is rather deflating!) – but it wasn’t something that we had rushed into. The operation carried risks – let’s be clear about this, I was having surgery on my spine in the cervical region… if something went wrong or a slight slip happened then I faced life as a quadriplegic! As it turned out later, if I hadn’t have fought or if we hadn’t taken the option of surgery then that would have been the end-game anyway as my spinal cord was being compressed by over 50%.

A cervical discectomy, in my case, involved some bone shaving and removing some discs to be replaced by a cage filled with bone, polymer and titanium. So much so that my neck doesn’t hinge at the bottom like most peoples but rather 2-3 inches higher up at the top of my neck.It also makes me my own version of the Bionic Man Smile

It was easy to look around the ward that day and dismiss what I was going through as “minor” – there were people in for brain surgery after all. That notion was eradicated by the ward staff though as I was informed my surgery was amongst the trickiest on the schedules and that I had one of Addenbrookes top Neurosurgeons conducting my surgery! Yes, all of you who said I needed a brain surgeon – I got one!

Expectations for the surgery were mixed. Some said I should see reasonable improvement straight away, others said it would take time and others said it was a complete waste of time (the movable MRI study I took part in removed any of the validity of that idea though!)

I said after surgery I was going to allow myself 18 months to decide for myself if it had been a success, a prevention of worse to come or even a failure. After 12 months I think I’m in a pretty good position now to state how I feel it has worked out.

There were several key factors for me with regards to the surgery:

  • Easing of Pain in my neck, arms, back and hands especially
  • Removing the regular, and painful, pins and needles from my arms and hands
  • Regaining strength in my arms and hands
  • Reduction in required medication
  • Greater fine motor-functions with more stability in my hands and less difficulty in doing simple tasks like buttoning up a shirt.

The other area that came up once the experimental MRI results were seen (which wasn’t until after my surgery) was relieving the pressure on my spine so that I could face a future without fear of losing the use of my arms and legs.

In some ways I was naĆÆve in believing that this was achievable (my heart leading there!), and yet I was also realistic in believing that the best I could hope for was improvement rather than outright cure (my head at work) – I never expected a full recovery, as that damage has been there far too long, but I was looking for an improvement… just a bit of relief.

Well (after a final MRI, a 2 hour delay, and a really good discussion with a great consultant) it turns out that, as has been my own experience the past year, the op hasn’t actually ā€œfixedā€ anything. I’m still in pain, on the full dose of painkillers, with pins and needles, and with weak motor skills that rule me out from ever defusing a nuclear bomb in the heart of Peterborough! (It’s OK Bruce Willis, your job is safe!)

The op has managed to relieve most of the pressure on my spinal cord, although there is one area where it is still compressed on one side, but the delays in getting the surgery have meant that the damage is most likely permanent.

70% of people see an improvement. 2% see a deterioration due to complications. 28% see no change. Guess I’m just in that 28%.

I firmly believe that God heals through the work of the surgeons, and through medication. I believe that He has given us the knowledge that enables medicine to be understood and used. There are times though when we must rely on a divine touch from The Great Healer Himself, and that’s where I am at – I am fully reliant upon Gods healing touch to restore my spinal cord to it’s natural condition, to rebuild the damaged nerves, and to heal the overall long term muscular and skeletal consequences of my situation.

Disappointed? Yes, I am. As I say, I wasn’t expectant of a full cure – but I did honestly believe I would see some improvement. Disheartened? Sometimes if I’m honest, but most of the time I simply fall back on my belief that there *is* healing waiting for me… In HIS time.

Now, do you want to see something cool? Here’s a quick snapshot, rather shaky I’m afraid, of my dynamic MRI. with a piccy above it so you can understand what you are seeing… enjoy!

MyNeck
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhykIwAaUco[/youtube]