A right pain in the neck

Before any of you think I’m talking about myself, my kids or even Mrs H – I’m not! (although the title could apply to any and all of us at different points in time)

Going back over 10 years, I started to experience weakness in my arms and pain in my neck/back – in fact the pain in my arms could build to such a level that I blacked out because of it. Over the years I’ve had to stand my ground and fight my corner to get various Doctors and elements of the NHS to believe me and to act upon it.

6 years ago I went into the horrendous MRI machine (even if you don’t suffer claustrophobia, you’ll be surprised at the panic these things can induce) and the results indicated problems on the C5/C6 vertebrae, with one doctor notably saying that I had the spine of an 80 year-old. That comment was later denounced by several other doctors and also the Neurosurgeon I ended up having to visit at Addenbrookes.

Because the issues are on my Cervical Spine area, and therefore a potentially dangerous location, I was indeed referred to visit a Neurosurgeon – who declined to comment on my mental state thankfully but did describe that I was developing bone spurs on my vertebra called osteophytes. These in themselves are fairly normal and most of us develop them from our early 30s onwards, the issue was that mine were starting to pinch on the nerves and would, in his words, require surgery “within 10 to 20 years”.

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Anthem for a season

For the last couple of months or so we have really started to feel a sense that God is going to shake things up this year, and that He has got some major plans for us in the next few months/year or so.

We don’t know quite what it all means or how it’s all going to happen but the sense of change is impossible to ignore and has only been reinforced by words God has spoken either to us directly or through others who have no idea what is going on right now.

That’s an important factor – we have had people coming up to us (me, Mrs H and our eldest) asking really direct questions regarding the future and plans that we may have. There has also been many words coming about through the sermon series and also from the recent 3 days of prayer and fasting.

Through all the uncertainty and the turmoil – there is complete certainty and peace. We know that God has plans to prosper us and not to harm us, to give us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29 11:14) but even more than that promise there has been a song that has been resonating within me and filling me with such joy, peace and hope.

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Ten Years – Who’da thunk it!

June 3rd 2000 and a gorgeous woman said “I do” and, in front of a large gathering of friends and families along with our Heavenly Father, we were married.

The last ten years haven’t all been smooth going, but no marriage ever is. There’s been rough patches, arguments, tears, hurt and more – but above all there’s been Love and the happiest days of my life.

She’s been there when I’ve struggled, stuck by me when I lost my faith, kept with me when my health was not good and loved me no matter what.

One thing we’ve not managed to do in that ten years, well not since our honeymoon,  has been to escape on our own for a romantic getaway and just be ourselves with no kids or time constraints. So I had to fix that 🙂

Cue a load of hushed messages, hidden agendas and huge amounts of googling – combined with a long drive! The end result was 5-ish days away from the kids, waking up and going to sleep with this view outside of our bedroom window

Kirkcudbright - Scotland

A four-star B&B in Kirkcudbright right in the south of Scotland (near Dumfries) was our home for the week where we were looked after by the wonderful Eileen Garroch (visit the B&B website here and if you pay her a visit say hi from us!) and made to feel like royalty.

The countryside was so beautiful, the food glorious, the weather wonderful and the company beyond comparison.

To summarise the week quickly: Fish & Chips, Castles, Hill walks, lighthouse, harbours, seafront restaurant, bagpipes, handmade chocolates, David Coulthard museum, ice cream, books, coffee, cakes, beaches, food and relaxation!

A better summary would be the photos below 🙂 More are available to friends on facebook!

Stomach bug from hell

The Hartley household was struck down last week as a nightmarish stomach bug took hold of us and for the first time we can think of actually hit all 5 of us.

24 hours? No

48? Nope

72 then??? You wish

The bug lasted from Saturday evening (24th) to Friday 30th April in one way or another – leading me to spend the week working from home to avoid contaminating the office after having to do a runner on Monday morning when struck ill at work 🙁

Never known a bug like it before and I certainly hope we don’t see any more like it as it has left us all feeling somewhat disorientated by the chaos and uncertainty, let alone the craziness caused by not having a normal menu (Poor Mrs H has just had a nightmare trying to work out the shopping for the coming week!)

Now all I want to do is catch up on the sleep of a week – not gonna happen but I can dream 😉


Out of control – and learning on the way

Following a really stirring recommendation from Dave Smith, senior pastor at our Church – KingsGate Community Church, I bought the book “Divine Mentor” by Wayne Cordeiro.

The book is a real honest and down-to-earth call to read the bible, and it opens our eyes to a rather novel way of viewing the experience. Wayne, who leads a network of churches in Hawaii, tells us how he uses the people within the bible as his mentors in everyday life and how the different people can speak into our lives on a regular basis.

This not only stirred me to start listening to the bible daily (using the excellent DailyAudioBible website with their daily podcasts for the bible in a year, and the book of proverbs in a month) but also kicked me in the rear about starting to listen to sermons and preaches on a daily basis – something I try to do when driving home from work but have fallen out of the habit in the past couple of months.

I decided to add to my usual library of speakers by subscribing to the Mars Hill podcast and learning from Rob Bell, and the other pastors there. What I wasn’t expecting was to have my character completely scrutinised and brought under the microscope as I listened to two really excellent preaches from Matthew 7 – one about Judging and the other about Ask, Seek and Knock.

The first preach completely cracked open an area that I have started to become painfully aware of in the last couple of months – and an area that I am having to work hard to rectify. The subject of trying to control others either by criticising, judging, manipulating or belittling and shaming. Rob Bell spoke very passionately and clearly around the whole subject, and as he did it became more and more clear that this behaviour comes around, more often than not, through insecurities and low self-esteem.

It’s going to be a challenge and I suspect it will be a long and painful journey – but it’s clear that I need to make changes in my life and in the way I relate to others around me.

To anyone who reads this and feels that I have treated them this way, I want to offer my deepest apologies and ask for forgiveness. If anyone wishes to talk then please feel free to contact me – you can find me on facebook or by emailing me.