Holocaust Memorial Day

Sculpture_-_DachauBack when I was a teenager, and we lived in Germany, we used to take holidays down in Bavaria or Austria. It’s a part of the world I absolutely love with it’s high mountain peaks, thick forests, hidden waterfalls and springs, and amazingly beautiful castles and towns.

It’s also a place where they don’t hide away from the horrors that came out of the region before and during World War 2. The rise of Hitler and the Nazis, the “hideaway” of the Eagles Nest at Berchtesgaden, and the concentration camp at Dachau.

It’s 70 years since the liberation of the camp at Auschwitz-Berkenau, and it’s also holocaust memorial day, and that always makes me remember the time that we went to Dachau.

Outside the gates of the camp you can hear the sounds of traffic driving by, birds chirping in the trees and children laughing and playing. Walk through the gates and it’s as if the very horrors of the events there cancel out all noise so that there’s utter silence. No cars, no birds, no laughter, even babies stopped crying. You are suddenly and brutally hit with the very nature of evil as you enter the camp and there were several people around us who cried just from entering – a sentiment I can fully understand, and I would probably do the same if I were to revisit today now that I understand more.

The Germans themselves carried around the shame of that time with openness, humility, shame and a deep sorrow that runs deeper than I think any of us can imagine. But they are also a proud people, and in their openness they show themselves to be strong in their resolve to ensure that such events do not happen again and to also show that these were atrocities committed by a different generation, and not reflecive of the people now.

Walking around the camp was an assault in the way that your senses, emotions, preconceptions and humanity were confronted with the pain of human suffering on the one hand, and the depths of human depravity on the other. That it is possible for one human being to commit such acts against another defies all humanity and you want to cry out that surely nobody could do such things – except you can’t as the evidence is there before you in the accomodation blocks, the work areas and the “shower” blocks.

At the end of the tour was a museum with diaries, personal belongings, photographs and more. Those who hadn’t wept before couldn’t hold back as you saw the mountains of human corpses, the emaciated walking dead, the arrogant and haughty faces of the officers in charge.

For those who were able there was a video reel available to view as you exited the museum. My parents gave me the choice, but I couldn’t face any more and so declined. My dad went in and when he came out he was broken. I’ve never seen such a haunted look on my dads face before or since, and in some ways that really cemented the reality of what we were experiencing.

A couple of weeks ago the BBC ran a drama around the trial of Adolf Eichmann, one of the architects behind the horrors of the camps, and it brought it all flooding back. They included video footage of people and events at Auschwitz, as well as real footage from the trial, and I could do nothing but sit and weep.

On this day I hope that we, the human race, sit up together as one and remember these events. And as we do so, let us all cry out “NO MORE” – and let us all resolve to never forget and to ensure that our children are taught the lessons and the horrors so that they may never be repeated.

 

I am the Doctor and this is my spoon!

IAmTheDoctorAndThisIsMySPOON

It’s an inescapable fact that when a new Doctor comes along people immediately compare him to the previous ones, and there’s always those who (in spite of doing the same with the previous incarnation) state that the new Dr is not as good as the previous one and the franchise is doomed.

When Peter Capaldi was announced as the replacement for Matt Smith, many “new who” fans cried out in outrage that an old(er) man was being given the job – after all where was the love interest going to be, and who were the teeny girls going to drool over. (OK – that’s an unfair comment as both male and female latecomers were objecting, but the arguments often referenced the age of Capaldi and the dyanmic changes that would bring about)

Personally I was both pleased and intrigued by his appointment – he’s a genuine whovian and hearkens back to the first heyday of who with Pertwee, Baker (Tom of course) and even Davidson with a respectful nod to Harkness and Troughton.

Three episodes in to the new Doctors tenure in the TARDIS and I’m still intrigued. This Doctor has a mystique about him, an uncertainty about both his identity and his motivations. There’s a battle going on inside his two hearts that is trying to determine his morality.

And you know what – it’s fantastic! (Ecclestone nod there)

The Doctor has gone back to being this mysterious traveller who sweeps in with the delicacy of a bull in a china shop and then sweeps out again leaving as many questions as answers.

Don’t get me wrong – I thought both Tennant and Smith were brilliant, and Tennant sits joint favourite for me with Tom Baker. But there was something about their versions of the Doctor that lacked that question mark. Doctor Who became a statement more than a question (for most of the time – there were some excellent occassions where the question mark was most definitely present!)

So back to Capaldi – we’ve had 3 very different episodes. We’ve had the “I’m in a new body and am rather addled by the change”, we’ve had the “Dalek moral soul-searching” and we’ve now had the “Tongue-in-cheek Romp” and that gives us a good feel for the direction of the new Doctor.

When I look at his performance there’s a darker edge, similar but edgier than Ecclestone. There’s also that sense of a timelord who is ageing so much slower than the rest of us – and he is not backwards in coming forwards with that, or anything for that matter.

One other thing that seems to be recurring is a real embracing of all the Doctors. We’ve seen mentions, character traits, and even images of past incarnations and this is a Doctor who is the sum of all his pasts – but at the same time strangely lessened by them. He’s in conflict with all his characters and as a result we are catching glimpses of them all – just peeking out through the almost tortured veneer that Capaldi is wearing.

It’s too early to say for definite – but I really do feel that this Doctor has the potential to be amongst the best of the best.

Oh, and SPOON!

Not settling for OK.

No More!

I’ve had enough. Seriously. It’s completely unacceptable and I’m not going to accept it any more – and it’s right that I shouldn’t.

Pain, and other issues, are a part of my life and they have been for far too long. I’ve always seen it as a triumph when I am prayed for and the pain lessens, becomes more manageable, and I can manage to get a decent nights sleep.

But No Longer!

I am not going to settle for pain relief or pain reduction. I’m not going to accept one good night of sleep. I’m not going to let go until I see FULL healing. Until a good nights rest is a normal thing.

I’ve never doubted that God CAN heal me and I’ve never doubted that I will be restored. It’s just that I’ve taken the Christian cop-out route of saying that “I’ll get a new body when I die” – and I’m not going to leave it there any more.

I’m going to be tenacious, persistent and never let go until I know healing. And that’s OK – because it’s biblical. I don’t know why God hasn’t healed me fully yet, but I know that His heart is for me and that He loves me as a Father loves His child. I know that we can Ask, Seek and Knock and that our God is Jehovah Rophi – the God Who Heals. Maybe He’s been waiting for me to realise that I need to be resolute, that I need to stand firm and keep banging on the door.

When we look at scripture we can see Jacob in Genesis 32:26 saying “I will not let you go unless you bless me”. We see Moses holding his arms up to deliver vistory over the Amelekites in Exodus 17:11-12. We can see persistence in the healing of Naaman when he had to bathe 7 times in the Jordan river. We see the blind man crying out “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me” – and not stopping until Jesus heard him – and there’s many more examples beside.

The interesting thing about the Moses one in particular, is that Moses got tired and weak. He felt his arms weakening and so they fell down turning the tide of battle in favour of the Amelekites. He need Aaron and Hur to sit him on a stone and lift his arms for him in order to see complete victory.

So, I am saying that today I am going to keep my arms in the air with the staff raised – until the battle is won. I’m going to shout and shout until Jesus stops by me and heals me. I’m going to wrestle and not let go until God blesses me. I’m going to keep on pushing on until I know the fullness of Gods promise for me.

But like Moses – I will get weak. There will be days when I tire and cannot stand. There will be days when my shout becomes a croak and a whisper. And so I need people with me. I need people to be standing firm in prayer with me and pushing forward on my behalf. Will you be one of those people? Will you be willing to pray for me and stand firm on the promises with me? Please.

I am blessed by having so many people around me whose faith leaves me humbled and in awe – will you please stand with me in prayer?

Thank you.

Remembering Senna

Ayrton Senna

At 14:17 on the 1st of May 1994, the Williams Renault car of the greatest driver in Formula 1 history went off at the Tamburello curve at the San Marino GP in Imola. Motor racing had lost its brightest light, in a tragic finale to its blackest weekend following the horrendous crash experienced by Rubens Barrichello and the fatal crash involving Roland Ratzenberger (as well as the injuries sustained by spectators as a result of a start line incident)

It’s now 20 years later and the thought of Senna brings about a bitter-sweet melancholy amongst many motorsport fans. We remember the amazing skill, the knife-edge racing and the unnatural ability to get more out of the car than anyone would have ever believed. We remember the proud patriotism and compassion that still sees the Senna foundation working hard amongst to poor and underprivileged of Brazil. Yes, we also remember the ruthlessness of a driver who would see the smallest sliver of daylight as an opportune gap for an overtake – oh, he was no saint when it came to racing but he was (and remains) THE best.

I remember watching the race. I was at home from university for the weekend (it was my mums birthday), and I sat down to watch the race hoping that better luck would befall my racing idol and that he would get his maiden victory in the Williams. I was just shy of 21 at the time. With technical details being less common in the TV coverage of the day I can’t pretend to have had some amazing insight that made me thing the tyre pressures were too low because of the safety car’s lack of speed, but I do know that I watched the restart with a great sense of unease. This was a weekend that had already seen so much tragedy that it felt wrong for the race to be continuing.

If only Ayrton had taken up the offer from Professor Sid Watkins to go fishing instead. But he was a racer so that wasn’t an option.

On only the second racing lap of the race Ayrtons car failed to take the 190mph Tamburello Curve, evidence would show he managed to slow it down to about 135mph by the time the car hit the wall. The moment etched forever in the memories of millions of fans.

I watched, horrified but transfixed. Praying and wishing that he would climb out of the car, take off his helmet, and give a wave to the crowd. I was sure I saw him move, as were millions of fans all over the world. It later transpired that this was probably caused by a muscle spasm and that he was already gone.

When the news broke, later that day, that Ayrton had died as a result of the crash I just wept. Even though the doctors and medics tried to revive him, the official time of death lists his passing as the time he crashed at the circuit.

I stopped watching F1 and wouldn’t start until the future Mrs Hartley got me back into it in 1999. Even now, 20 years later, I cannot ponder too long on that weekend without welling up again.

In the midst of the tears I smile though as I remember watching him race. Portugal ’85, Brazil ’91, Monaco ’88 and ’92 – and then there was, of course, Donington ’93. He was a genius behind the wheel, one with the car and the circuit. He was unbelievably strategic and tactical, positioning his car just right and driving with intellect that would often (but not always) be working in tandem with the fire and passion of the competitor he was.

RIP Ayrton Senna. The greatest of them all.

#RememberSenna

Life in the fast lane

 Life In The Fast Lane

It’s been quite a while since I posted here – not for lack of wanting to, nor for any lack of ideas, but purely because life is one wild maelstrom since we’ve moved. Don’t get me wrong that’s not an excuse, a complaint or a moan, it’s just the way it is.

And that’s the sort of thing we wanted when we moved, although we didn’t anticipate it to this extent.

So what’s been happening since I last posted (which was a bit of a downer of a post I know but it was a fair reflection of how life was that week)? Well, things have got busier and busier.

The kids all have their own lives, both within the church and outside of it. The boys are now members of the local cub/scout troops, our daughter is extremely busy with college work and they all have their own things going on within the church.

The church. What can I say about that? We’ve been so blessed in finding a great community to be a part of and at a really exciting time as well. We’ve all found our own niches and have our own activities and involvements, and we’re all loving life there. Me, well I’ve gone full circle really and I’m back doing both PA and playing in the worship team – it feels so good and it has been a huge answer to prayer.

Of course, the side effect of having such an active life is that we barely have an evening without something going on and our weekends rapidly fill up. It’s meant that all of a sudden we find ourselves with the realisation that we moved home nearly 8 months ago. It’s such a crazy thought as on the one hand it feels like 5 minutes ago, and on the other hand we feeld so well established and settled that it feels as though we’ve lived here for much longer.

So whilst it may seem like I last blogged and ice-age ago, to me it feels like yesterday. Life in the fast lane… gotta love it!